Foster Honks [Humanstuck - Psiioniic and Gamzee]

[ittakestwo]

Wake up, Gamzee. We’re home.

[Ashvin’s voice lacks its typical sharpness as he nudges the, no, his small child in the backseat to wake up. The tone in his voice is cautious – as if too sharp a note would cause social services to sneak up behind him and take away his new son before they’d barely walking in the door.

But, of course, that would be stupid and excessive. So why , exactly, could he not shake the feeling?

He lifts the stirring toddler out of his car seat, pulling him close. The child’s weight in his arms is foreign. Years had passed since Mituna had been that size – and he was missing a good chunk of Sollux’s “carry-me” years. Part of him wasn’t even sure if Sollux would want to be held next time they met.

But, that would also be stupid. Why was he wasting so much of this moment being insufferable anyway?

He carries the toddler in through the garage, ducking his head as they entered into the kitchen.]

This is your new home, kid.

[The lameness of that phrasing made him inwardly grimace. He set the child down onto the tiled floor before kneeling downward. Should he offer some grand tour of his one-floor home? Should he feed him?

Jesus, he was off to a great start in proving he could assimilate back into society as some notable paternal figure.]

What do you think?

Comments

[themessiahs]

[Gamzee had no idea what was going on. This was a universal constant, but he especially had no idea what was going on now. This man wasn't his daddy. Gamzee was all about making new friends and chilling with new crew, but the guy was speaking as if they were family now.

Gamzee had no family.

His father was gone. A scarce presence in his life to begin with, the man had disappeared eventually and Gamzee didn't know why. He was only three, so he didn't question it, either. It was just fact. He had no Daddy.

So this was strange.

He gazed up at the man, seemingly finding something funny about his face. The toddler cracked a smile and a giggle, following that up with a strange, cartoonish imitation of Ashvin's expression.

Oh right, he'd been asked a question. Gamzee stared forward, processing the words before finally turning and looking around.] A house. [Was that right? Gamzee looked to Ashvin for confirmation.]

[ittakestwo]

[Ashvin had successfully avoided catching the hints from the three-year-old that he wasn't thought of as family. Not that it would've been surprising - Ashvin didn't exactly expect the kid to stare up at him as if he were the little guy's new lord and savior.

Really, at this point, he was hoping the kid remembered his name.

The giggle that followed his question caused him to cock an eyebrow. The other's imitation caught him off-guard and he huffed out a laugh as he cracked a faint smile. He almost didn't register the other's answer.

He blinked as his mind processed exactly what the kid had said. The moment his thoughts caught up with the situation, he couldn't help but spare a real laugh.]

Well, you're not wrong. This is a house, all right. Your house, even.

[themessiahs]

[His house? He didn't own a house! No one told him he did, at least. Gamzee supposed it would be nice to own a house, but since he didn't know this guy, he wasn't inclined to believe him. It must have been a weird joke.

Gamzee pointed up at his foster father, squinting with suspicion.

Ashvin's hopes were in the right place - as in it was only by a miracle that Gamzee might have remembered his name. As it was, the little boy was convinced his new parent was called the 'hashman'. It seemed right.]

Faygo.

[The word 'house' had come up so many times, Gamzee figured they were on the same page as to where they were. So it was time for other priorities. Like drinking his most favorite beverage!]

[ittakestwo]

["Faygo?" Where did that come from? What was a Faygo? His brows furrowed, his lips twitched downward as he continued on his perilous journey of trying to comprehend his new foster child.

It wasn't a pet's name was it? Like some new-age "Fido"? He wasn't about to throw his heart into that much commitment just yet. Re-master fatherhood - then maybe he could add on a family fleamongrel.

The gears in his head continued to turn before he finally had to give up. He let out a defeated sigh.]

What? What's Faygo?

[themessiahs]

[Gamzee looked at Ashvin as if he'd never pet a puppy. There was utter pity in his eyes, his bottom lip trembling. How? How could someone grow so big and so tall and not partake!? This was motherfucking unacceptable.]

No!

[He grew quickly determined, running to the door and straight into it. The boy's body bounced off of the surface undeterred. He reached for the knob, turning it desperately and spilling outside.]

Go get Faygo! Live hashman, live!

[ittakestwo]

[This had surely been the fastest Ashvin had yet to see Gamzee run. The sheer desperation in the child's very soul came to fruition with such a simple question?

What had he been missing out on, apparently?

His amusement was cut short when Gamzee plowed into the door. He watched the child fall back as if in bullet time.]

Woah!

[Genuine concern slipped out of his vocal chords as he rushed to get to the kid. Yet before he could even reach Gamzee, the kid had already recovered and darted out the door.

Luckily, Ashvin's legs were much longer than the tyke's. Once he caught up, he was quick to pick the boy back up.]

Woah, woah. What's Faygo? And what's a Hashman?

[themessiahs]

[Accosted! Gamzee was fighting the riteous fight, he had no time to be picked up and carried away! The little boy turned, ready to bash in whoever's head was preventing him from showing his hashman some dope elixer. One bonk later, Gamzee realized who it was he was hitting.

Oops.

He giggled, honking softly in apology.]

You. You're the motherfucking hashman!

[Duh. Gamzee might have momentarily concerned himself with Ashvin's dumb question, but he had a mission. True, he'd forgotten for a moment, but the repeated question reminded him of his crusade.]

We have to get it! With gas!

[Where there was gas, there was faygo aplenty. Ashvin could select whichever color his whimsy drew him to, and they could knock back a cold one together to celebrate their joint identification of a house.]

[ittakestwo]

[The flail of the tiny one was really impressive. How could someone bend like that? Was he missing ribs? or kneecaps? It was perplexing, up until Ashvin found himself smacked in the face. Then it went straight from perplexing to vexing in a fell-swoop.]

Will you-- Hey wait!

[But the other was already stopping and giggling. Yes, very funny. Hilarious even. He rolled his eyes, shaking his head.]

Hashman? Do you me Ashvin? My name is Ashvin.

[His tone is bland, as the burst of frustration drains out of him.

And here they were. They'd made it out into the garage, but that's about all the progress he'd made on this faygo adventure. So, he turns to a more reliable source. He sits on the steps, whipping out his smartphone so that he could put the question into Google. It'd surely get him somewhere faster than this little guy could hope to. "Bless his little heart," as his mother would say.

His eyebrows rise and he peeks up over the phone. Some off-brand looking soda is what this kid was raving about? Would wonders ever cease?]

We just got home. Do you want a Mountain Dew instead?

[Was he even allowed to have sodas at his age? Wasn't that Ashvin's choice now? Oh fancy that, he couldn't be assed to debate if the kid could have soda or not -- really all he wanted was to avoid getting back in his car.]